Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I Am

I am good at taking pictures...most days.  I am good at debating.  Love a good challenge between my way or your way. I am good at making macaroni and cheese.  Preferable the microwavable kind.  I am good at wrecking vehicles.  ***grin***  I am da bomb at simultaneously feeding a baby while vacuuming the floor and talking on the phone.  I actually think I deserve an award for that one.

I am good at a lot of things.  A lot of random things.  I, however, am not perfect.  I am far far from perfect.  I  have come to the realization that I never will be perfect.  No one will.  We are all good at making mistakes.  We are all good at doing things we later regret.  Some more than others [raise my hand here].  Some less than others.  We. Are. Only. Human.

This being said, I have learned that it is not only important to realize when mistakes are made, but it is just as important to admit when they are made.  It benefits us when we admit our mistakes to ourselves.  It benefits us even more when we admit those mistakes to those who may have been hurt by them.

I made a mistake last week.  I posted something personal to me.  Personal to those involved.  Personal on a lot of levels.  Though my feelings are an open book, they should only be an open book when no one else's feelings will be involved.  Does it feel good to vent?  Absolutely.  This blog is my therapy.  Blogger.com has saved me bookoodles of money otherwise spent on therapy. True story.  What I posted last week felt good for a moment.  Mistakes normally do.  But, there comes that moment when the "good feeling" is gradually replaced by the feeling of regret.  The feeling that, as good as it felt, you know that there may be people hurt by what you did.  Often times the feeling of regret tips the scales in it's direction and weighs heavier than any good you felt from your actions.

So, I will stand up.  I will swallow my pride.  I will raise my hand and say to whoever may have read my last post...I am sorry.  I am sorry for the example I set.  It's not who I am.  It's not who I want to be.  I am not sorry for my feelings.  We all have feelings.  I am simply sorry for the way in which I expressed these feelings.  Some things are better left between my family and I.

Again.  I am not perfect.  I know most of my shortcomings.  Some I may not be aware of.  Some I may not want to be aware of. But at the end of the day, I feel that if and when we recognize our mistakes, as long as we try to fix them, that's all that matters.  Perfection is not possible in this life.  Being willing to try your best to work towards it...is.  That's all we can do.  That's all I can do.

I. Am. Only. Human.



sherrie haney said...

YOU are absolutely AMAZING!!! Sam and I looked at the pictures and he was in awe when he saw his Stella and Isla, and of course baby Knox! Big, big smile on his face!!

Dee said...

You are absolutely amazing-er! Thanks lady :)