Thursday, December 16, 2010


2010. Done. Almost...

They say when one door closes, another door opens. True. Seems like such a simple concept. I've learned that it's far from simple. Quite complicated, actually. That much overused statement fails to inform you just what lies behind that next door. Just how much time you are given between one door opening and then smackin' you in the rear. The most important missing piece of information is once that door is shut, there's no going back. There is no key to re-open past doors of life.

That being said, there's been many doors opened for me in 2010. I became a mother of three. Let me say that again...A MOTHER OF THREE. **insert bug eyes here** That long ago dream of a kidless successful attorney has been obliterated. Poof. Up in smoke. Door SLAMMED! But I'm forever grateful that door has been shut. I wouldn't trade my Anna Bugs, Troops, and Isla Baby for anything. They are my world. My life. My keys to all doors that lead to happiness (and a few that lead to insanity of all levels).

On to the crazy. After 32 years of marriage, my parents divorced this summer. I can remember Anna Lynn being born on their 25th wedding anniversary 7 years ago. September 23, 2003. It was a good day. A WONDERFUL day. A day that I could picture two wonderful moments being celebrated on the same day for the rest of our lives. Door...shut. I think that door was slammed so hard, it's probably broken into hundreds of teeny-tiny shreds. I would never want to go back through that door. As a matter of fact, if I could concrete it shut, I would. I wouldn't wish what I went through this summer on my worst enemy. I'll spare you the details and just tell you that my Heavenly Father led me by the hand through that bunch of...for lack a better word...mess.

I knew Isla was a blessing from the very beginning, but I never knew just how much I needed her until this summer...before she was even born. She is the one thing that kept me focused on staying calm and positive through Mom and Dad's issues. I knew I had to for her sake. When she was born in June, it was a wonderful day. I knew that no matter what craziness surrounded me thanks to my matter what trials I face...there are always blessings in store. She was my little light at the end of a long dark tunnel. Thank you Isla.

Not long after the divorce, my mother packed her bags and hauled toosh to California. Still not sure what to say or think about that...other than I hope she's happy...and she really does seem to be. 'Nuff said about that. Though, I picture that door still swingin'...not sure why...but its-a swingin'.

Logan lost his job in September. 3 months after Isla was born. Shake an already rocky boat (one that includes a hormonal post-pregnant lady) and you'd think we'd sink. We didn't. Was it hard? Absolutely. Was it scary? Definitely. Through prayer...many MANY prayers...and much faith, Logan found another job a few weeks later. Best part is, he works now where he's wanted to work for many many years. Going through this was a test of our marriage. A test of our faith. We both stood strong...together. It made us realize how much we need each other. How much we need our Heavenly Father in all part of our lives, but especially our marriage. Door shut (and I can promise I was looking pretty darn hard for that key). Door opened.

This past Tuesday, December 16, Grand-daddy, my last living grandparent passed away. At 93 years old, he lived a good life. A long life. It was to be expected, but that never makes it easy. Loss is something I feel I should be used to by now. You learn how to deal with it, but it doesn't take away the fact that losing someone still hurts. He will be missed, but I know he was welcomed "home" by Nanny and Zac. He can now rest from all the craziness we are left to deal with in this life. And for that, I'm a little jealous. We love you Grand-daddy.

Lesson learned from the doors of my life: You can't go back. There is no magic key that allows you to re-enter a period of your life and relive it. No magic key that allows you to go back and spend more time with someone you loved and not take them for granted. You simply open the next door in front of you, pray hard, hold on to every ounce of faith you have, and walk. Simply walk through each door knowing it was placed before you by Heavenly Father, who will carry you through every step of the way...even when you think you can't go anymore...until the next door opens.

Lastely, I have a little announcement. I believe I had a similar announcement at this same time last year. Yeppers. I did. The door to being a mother of 4 will be opened in June next year. Some call us crazy. I call us blessed (with a touch of crazy). A she-Logan or he-logan will make his/her debut in June next year. Isla and this baby have the same due date...just 12 months apart. Wish us luck, patience, and sleep!

I am so blessed. So blessed that we have a healthy beautiful family and that Logan and I had the opportunity to visit the Orlando Temple this past weekend and be sealed together as a family for time and all eternity. NOTHING in this world compares to knowing that "...'till death do you part" is now "...for time and all eternity." That we will be a family even after this life. A crazy family still, I'm sure, but together none-the-less. So, we've had a wonderful end to this crazy year. Another insanely crazy yet wonderful year.

Merry Christmas y'all :)

Adios 2010.

Door shut.


(and if there are spelling and grammer's because I don't feel good thanks to Anna's generous dose of strep she so kindly shared with me :)


Amanda Prince said...

Dee, you are often in my thoughts. Life sure does have its twists and turns, but youve done such and amazing job keeping it all together. Im very sorry to hear about your grandfather and I hope that your parents are finding what they need in their recent divorce.

BUT, CONGRATSSSSSSSSS on the new babe! I wish you guys a healthy and happy holiday and new year. Youre in our prayers. And keep all the pretty pics coming. :-) xoxoxo!

Becky Shuler said...

Not only are you a talented photographer, you are a gifted writer as well! I am truly sorry you've had such a rough year, but I think that it ended pretty well with a trip to the temple and the excitement of a new baby next year. I'm proud of you and feel blessed we are such good friends.

Stephanie said...

What a year. Lots of sad things but plenty of happy things. Congrats on the pregnancy!!

Dee said...

Thanks so much guys :) Your kind words mean a lot. Happy to be movin' on to 2011 and meeting our little one!

And Amanda...I may leave the pretty pic taking to's going to be near impossible with 4!!