Tuesday, May 5, 2009

New Doc in Town

Something is wrong with the horses in my box.

Diagnosed by Doctor Anna Bams. Apparently that's why I can't talk. I guess the sinus infection that has slowly, but surely, made it's way to my chest has spooked my horses that live in that box in my throat...ya know...that box that some people call a voice box (but those are the people that don't any better).

This is why I am making a special trip to Wally World tomorrow morning to buy an air-horn since my two children can't hear the horses in my box screaming the words [NO][STOP][CLEAN UP][GO TO BED]!!!. I need the air-horn to replace the plastic "naughty" spoon that was a permanent threatening fixture in my hand tonight. I've never encountered something more flusteranizing (my word) than trying to wrangle a 5 and 2 year old...whom are both on sugar highs from gummies and a coke they stole from the fridge...while trying to get them ready for bed without being able to talk above a whisper. All while I feel like absolute poo. It's a feeling of complete helplessness. Complete out-of-controlness. Complete "how did I give birth to something that could make me so crazy?" Really?

Yea, so, I'll probably have child services at my door tomorrow from posting this. That's ok, though. At least they can come in for a visit and I can have someone else here to watch the kids for me. Maybe they can spend the afternoon "showing" me how to deal with my children. How wonderful would that be?! How bad is it that I'm welcoming child services just to get a break? Maybe I need to call my original doc and check on my horses...and while I'm at it, up that dosage of happy meds (just kidding...sort of). At least I can look forward to my daughter growing up to be a successful doctor. I mean, what 5 year old can make such an accurate diagnosis? You go girl! Momma loves you :)

Happy days.

1 comment:

Ash said...

Every mom has been in your shoes!!! Putting the kids to bed alone is hard enough even with a well-working box! :) My hats off to ya!